54. Lord have your way...

 The other day the thought hit me: that for some reason, after I made it to the one year of recovery after sepsis, I thought it was somehow going to be the ending point.

Ending point for what? I’m not entirely sure.

Perhaps I was just so exhausted. My body had never been under a physical attack like that before. I had never been stretched emotionally and mentally like that. All worldly life lines were completely stripped away bringing me to my knees again and again in a raw and pure desperation before the Lord. It felt like a lifetime of teachings hit me at an intensely fast way over the course of one year. So standing on that one year mark, in my mind, it was supposed to end of that part of my life-and I would come out of it fully transformed into whatever glorious creature the Lord was bringing me forth as!!!!! What I think I am realizing, is that it wasn’t the end to anything but instead it really was just the beginning of a brand new book... He has been preparing me for what He has prepared for me.

I don’t think I am the only one. I feel as if we have all gone through a season of testing especially this past year. And now the Lord is shifting: He is shifting HIS people and placing His people where HE wants them. Lately, I have been having a very challenging time getting my thoughts to slow down enough to hear from the Lord. Everything just seems so jumbled. The times I struggle with the spaghetti noodle type thoughts, I find that the Lord is asking me to get out my pen and paper. As I did, this is what I found myself writing:

”Stop. Look around. What do you see? Stuff and more stuff. It’s time to clean house. Get rid of the emotional, spiritual and physical piles of stuff that are collecting dust and taking up space. Get rid of what you’ve been holding onto but no longer belongs to you. Make room for the ”new” I am preparing you for. This is a place you have never been. This is a place of uncharted territory. You cannot rely on your strength to get you through. I know you don’t even know where we are going but I am taking you somewhere you cannot survive without me. You cannot survive counting on your own strength and skills or things of the world. Where we are going, I must be present with you at all times and I will give you the wisdom you need as you need it. Step by step.“

I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that this was not just a message for me. So I am laying it out there for those it was meant to minister to.

Lord have your way.