7 years ago I didn't own a Bible. I didn't even know the last time I read one. 7 years ago I didn't attend church. I was too busy....with stuff. I didn't know much about salvation or the promises of Jesus.
6 years ago I started taking my (2) kids to church by myself until the Holy Spirit moved in my husband’s life and led him to church with us nearly a year and a half later. 6 years ago I made a decision to follow Jesus and make Him Lord and savior of my life. I repented. I was forgiven. I was washed clean and stepped into a new life. 6 years ago I bought a Bible.
I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know how to read it. I certainly didn't understand it and I remember thinking that I could never live up to what I thought a ‘good Christian’ was supposed to look like.
Slowly since 2014, I have grown into my time with Jesus. It took a beginning commitment on my part...Put Jesus first. And it started with just reading a verse or two every few days. He took me step by step after that. Using others to show me and teach me ways to continue developing a relationship with Him. And along the way I had a choice...would I make the effort or would I make the excuse? I decided to make the effort. But I assure you it hasn't been easy. There's always been exhaustion and distractions. Always kids sleeping schedules (and lack of) to work around. Always the challenge to find "quiet" time in a growing household. Always a list of to do's that didn't get done today.... It has always been a balancing act, but I was determined to put Jesus first and He met me where I was in each season of life.
I came to the realization this past week that I am a student of the Lord. I laughed as I saw myself for the first time like one of those people I used to hear about and think how unrealistic it was to spend that much time at the feet of Jesus. I even debated sharing this because I certainly don't want to make anyone feel bad for where they are or that they can't live up to some kind of expectation (the way I once felt) But the Lord reminded me that my relationship with Him is not because He likes me better. My relationship with Him is because I have chosen to draw near to Him daily. And the truth is...it takes a lifetime of choices on our parts. No matter where you are in your walk with Jesus....there is a choice:Will you make the effort or will you make an excuse?
If you want a relationship with Jesus, you can have one. If you want to learn how to hear the Holy Spirit, it is possible. If you want to be a prayer warrior, you can be. If you want to get to know Jesus, you can. If you want to learn how to operate in the gifts the Lord has given you, you can do that too. But it won't happen if you keep your Bible shut. It won't happen if you only allow Him to be in parts of your life every now and then. It won't happen if you only attend church on occasion. It won’t happen if you simply squeeze Him in when it’s convenient. It won't happen if you only pray when you need something. It won't happen with wishful thinking. It's a choice. Your choice. And only you can make it for yourself.
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