46. “Kill” the queen

 “That’s good, when you take out the queen, you take out the rest of the family.” I heard myself say before I even realized the words were coming out of my mouth…

The last couple weeks have been mixed with amazing highs but some major lows. One thing after another began hitting me. Not only with actual happenings but with the thoughts of doubt, shame, insecurities, worry etc. At one point, I felt completely wore down and I stopped taking each thought captive (as we are instructed to do in Philippians 4:8 and 2 Corinthians 10:5) and allowed myself to surrender to the woe’s of life and all that was happening around me.

To be completely honest, alcohol was feeling very tempting to me during this time. I have never been big on drinking but I found myself craving the idea of drowning my sorrows. The same morning this thought hit me, Adam and I found yellow jackets had somehow gotten into our bedroom and we could not find where they were coming from. After successfully killing one very large one, Adam looked it up-and based on the markings, it was a queen and that’s when I heard the words come out of my mouth: “that’s good. When you take out the queen, you take out the rest of the family.” As soon as I said it, I knew it was from the Lord and I have not been able to get the concept out of my head since. I knew the enemy was targeting me in a moment of weakness and truth is, he didn’t stop. The tempting lies and offerings continued to come but the Lord used yellow jackets of all things to speak to me in a very real way, delivering a message to my heart.

Within those words, I believe it’s not just for me but for all WOMEN:

I believe that we have been given a very important roll in God’s kingdom: we are created with the power of influence. It is a roll that the enemy wants us to overlook, ignore or see as insignificant. He will do anything to keep us from seeing it clearly and will offer many tempting ‘way outs’ that may appear to be a solution. From the very beginning, we see the serpent target Eve in the garden by casting doubt and suggesting she wasn’t good enough the way she was: here! just eat the fruit and everything will be better. (the serpent said “For God knows when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:5) And just like in the garden, when you take out the queen, you take out the family. It is no coincidence, the serpent targeted Eve with lies that made her doubt her true and pure nature. It is no coincidence the serpent cast doubt in her heart about who she was and who God created her to be and by doing so, cast doubt about God’s promises themselves. Because the enemy started with Eve and manipulated her to use her influence in a negative way, he was also able to take out Adam (“…she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Genesis 3:6) and they both fell into sin.

You my beautiful friend, have a powerful influence to those around you. An influence that you may not even realize you have because the enemy wants to keep hitting you with lies, doubt and shame about who you are and what you are capable of-ultimately with one goal in mind: “kill” the queen within you. We are constantly nailed with the feelings of comparison, “should be’s” and inadequacy and if you are anything like me, self confidence as a woman is not an easy thing to walk in.

But I believe the Lord wants us to stop seeking out who we are by the definition of other people (Including quizzes and personality evaluations!) The Lord wants His daughters to turn to HIM to find out who they truly are in HIS eyes. Let Jesus fill us with HIS truth and HIS purpose. Dig into the word. Pray. Worship the Lord and ask for revelation. The enemy trembles at a woman on a mission for the kingdom which is why I believe he is quick to offer doubt and insecurity so regularly to us. When we begin to recognize where the enemy is trying to “kill the queen”, we can combat it by speaking God’s truth over ourselves and our situation. (But we MUST know what God’s truth is before we can even do that)

“Lovely ones, in this moment I pray we might each realize that we are truly frightening to our enemy and that he has done everything in his power to contain us. He knows he cannot get close enough to capture and chain us if we are fully awake and mobile. To counter, he sedates us so that we might not do the things God has called us to do…we must wake up, rise up, remember who we are, and confront the evil in this world with light.” (Lisa Bevere)

(If you have not yet given your life to Jesus and have any questions about what this means, please reach out to me-I was once lost but the Lord came after my heart and He is after yours too)