37. Right Where We Are

Tea stained paper is a super simple process that gives regular white paper a more unique antique look. It’s super simple but also super slow so often times when it’s tea paper day, I get a little bit of help and a whole lot of mess! 

 When I would take time to work on my stuff, I used to get so worked up with a mix of crazy emotions. From feeling guilty for putting the kids in front of the tv or telling them “go play”; to the frustration of walking around the house afterwards to find that no room had been left untouched either by toys strewn about, or their own art projects they decided to work on....and clean up never happened all because I was distracted. 

On top of that, I would see posts from other successful stay at home/work from home business moms with perfectly constructed posts and pictures with the slogan “YOU CAN TOO!” And instead of feeling the encouragement I know I was supposed to feel, I would find myself thinking, ”yeah...uhhhhhh my life doesnt look that put together even when I have it all together! Let alone when I start working on things.“ 

Because of this, for years, I have avoided taking my work seriously. My identity became a stay at home mom with everything else put on hold. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a stay at home momma but I put the gift that God placed in my heart under a rock with a self written label that said, “don’t lift until kids are moved out.” And a deep sadness would settle in. 

Over the last few years, I have done a lot of reflecting and praying on this. There was a time a few months back that I literally packed everything art related that I owned into boxes and shoved them under the steps so I didn’t have to look at them. I was a mess. Then I realized....that’s exactly where me and my family shine. In the mess.

Things do not have to be pretty and perfect to be from the Lord. Just because it is hard or it is messy does not mean He wants you to let go of something He has placed on your heart. He knows where you are. And chances are if He has placed a dream in your heart, He also has a plan for you to accomplish that dream. What we need to do is let go of our “supposed to” expectations and allow Him to lead the way.

Some days all I get done is snuggles. Other days I finally fold the clean clothes that have been in the dryer since the week prior. And some days I get so much done I don’t even know how it was possible. The beautiful things is, when you trust God with your life, you are also trusting that He will provide you with all the time you need to get done exactly what He has on your list for that day...Even through the mess.