41. Because I love you....and He loves you more

I believe we are in a time where distraction is running wild. The ultimate ploy of the enemy is to keep our minds and hearts running in circles until we can no longer think clearly. The crazy thing about distraction is that we often don’t realize we are being distracted. The enemy wants us to be focused on things of this world-encouraging us to put our hope and faith into people and things that ultimately will fade away. 

Don’t let the noise distract you from the promise of eternity in heaven for those who choose to accept Jesus. Don’t let the noise distract you from finding out who He is. We all need to know that there is a God who loves us dearly and wants to see each person turn from the world and run into His arms. Every person needs to know that they have a choice; a choice of where we will spend eternity. Jesus died for YOU and me so that OUR sins may be forgiven. He suffered and after three days He defeated death and rose again and because of that, His resurrection power is alive and real and His power and authority is transferred to those who believe. Healing and miracles still happen; peace can still be found and hope is never lost.

I do not pretend to know it all or that I have figured it all out and I certainly won’t fake an understanding when there is none. But I have experienced enough struggle, challenge, judgement and conflict within myself, with others and situations in my lifetime. Because of this, I have recognized that we are prone to make mistakes and confusion, fear, offense and chaos is a game of the enemy-one that is so easy to step into and often we willingly accept it as “normal”. 

But with that, I have also experienced the true and pure nature of Jesus Christ. He has stepped in and healed situations that were beyond humanly fixing. I have witnessed and experienced His redeeming power; The cleansing that happens when we accept the gift of salvation He has waiting for us; The peace that comes in a world of uncertainties and unanswered questions when we step away from the he-said-she-said conversations and seek HIS truth. 

And because of such things, I will not put my faith in man nor rules, studies or opinions. But with careful consideration and prayer, at the end of the day, I choose to put my faith in the only one that remains steadfast and true. Jesus Christ. My truth is found in His word. He is my solid ground. I will proudly turn from the ways of this world and seek HIS kingdom and follow HIS command on my life. 

Whether my decisions are right or wrong, only the Lord can say. Truly I am doing my best to navigate this world, not only for me but for the five precious little humans God has given me. And I believe that many of you will say the same. Where is the grace for one another? I believe instead of fighting each other, we must recognize that at every angle, there is a spiritual battle raging and it’s for the hearts of ALL people. The enemy will stop at nothing to keep us from Jesus and he will use anyone and anything he can to do it…especially each other. 

I believe the Lord has put me here to remind you of how very precious you are to Him. He sees you. He knows you. He loves you. He wants you. He may not always love our actions or our choices (again, we all fall short)….but the YOU I’m talking about, He loves dearly. And no one is ever too far from Him to return to the path of righteousness. 

We live in a wishy-washy world and I’m sure you can agree, it is exhausting. I want you to know, I’m tired too. I’m stretched beyond any stretching I want to do. And I can honestly say, that the only decision I have ever made that was an easy decision and one I have never regretted, was choosing to follow the Lord. No matter your circumstance and despite all the million decisions that must be made daily (many of which make people angry for one reason or another anyways) the only true decision that will matter in the end is if you will make Jesus Lord and Savior of YOUR Life or not. 

So in a world where everyone wants to be right about masks, and medicine, and color and vaccines, and police and rights, and school, and disease, and health, and experts, and articles and politics and religion, and numbers, and statistics… please know I am here when you need to rest. I am here when you need a safe place to talk. I will meet you in the laughter and I will cry right along with you my friend. I will pray FOR you. I will pray WITH you. I will seek answers to your questions from the only one who can give answers and walk with you as you do the same. And the only finger I want to be pointing is one that points you to Him. Because I love you so very very much…..but I know that He loves you more. 

40. “Come follow me...”

As I’m reading in the book of Matthew, I cannot help but be choked up. Simon, Andrew, James and John were called by the Savior. ”Come, follow me.” Was the invitation Jesus extended. And their response? They dropped EVERYTHING and followed Him-they didn‘t have to be persuaded. They didn’t have to think about it. They didn’t have to know what was in it for them. They didn’t need proof or a good reason. The invitation was there and they leapt at the chance. (read Matthew 4:18-22)

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon allied Peter and his. Brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.

Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.” 

My heart aches thinking about how often we do not respond with the same ‘all in’ attitude. There are even those who claim to know Jesus who still keep Him at arms length. 

Now, it is true that there was a time I didn’t know Him. For years, I shot down that beautiful invitation, but when I finally said yes to Jesus, I said yes with everything in me. And my life will never be the same. I cannot tell you enough how beautiful Jesus is. I cannot tell you enough how much He adores you. I cannot tell you enough how important you are to Him. And no matter how many times you may have already said ’no’, they day you say “YES” all of heaven will rejoice. There was a looong time I lived a life never believing these things and now I ugly cry thinking of all the beautiful people who do not know how precious they truly are-because they do not know who HE is. 

He’s not trying to trick you and I’m not trying to trick you either. Your life can literally be changed by one decision you make:accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. No, I am not claiming a quick fix to the troubles of this life. But miraculous things happen when you go all in with Jesus. 

We will not be here on this earth forever. And no one knows when the Lord is coming back. Trust me when i say, where you will spend your eternity is not something you want to take lightly. In fact, there will come a time that you will no longer have the chance to accept His invitation. But right now....His hand is extended to YOU.

“Come, follow me” He says....

what will your answer be?

39. All the people were AMAZED

When we ask questions, almost always we are wanting an answer. Right? Very rarely do we actually ask a question that we are not hoping to find a answer that will bring us some kind of understanding, comfort or closure. Especially in today’s world, I encourage people to be asking a million questions. The Bible even tells us to hold everything up to the word of God and do not accept everything we hear. But here is a question that has been rolling around in my head....Why do we need answers? What tells us that we must know the “why?” And the “how?” When we are walking in a true relationship with the Lord, is it possible to walk a life with fewer questions and deeper trust? 

Don’t get me wrong, I do think there is a place for questions in our walk with Jesus-they can grow us and stretch us beyond where we would be if we didn’t ask those questions initially. But I got to wondering….sickness, miracles, healing. Is there really ever an “answer” to any of the questions we have revolving around these particular topics? Or perhaps, is the stretching and growing from the unanswered questions what forces us into a deeper intimacy of faith, trust, and hope with our Creator? I truly believe the Lord is looking for His people who are ready to say, YES! I trust you. YES! I believe. YES! I have faith…No matter what. Period. 

As I’ve mentioned before, I know my sepsis story does not define me but it certainly has grown me. This is yet another moment (a year later) where the Lord is still working on my heart. After I got sick, it was never a question as to why I got Strep A sepsis or even how I got Strep A sepsis….both of which still go unanswered today and probably will never be answered and I am at peace with that. The question that I wrestled with for so long was why was I able to walk out of the hospital…why am I still alive? Why have so many died from the same thing within hours? Why didn’t God call me home? 

While I was in the hospital, we were receiving very vague guidance and help from the doctors who were caring for me at the time. Eventually, I received a copy of my charts to confirm I was indeed “stage 3 severe sepsis/septic shock”. So as I continued on the journey of recovery, we reached out to friends and family in the medical field as well as a new group of doctors for further care. Perhaps we were still searching for answers, perhaps we needed some kind of closure. But ultimately, I wanted straight forward ‘please don’t tip toe around me anymore’ truth. Through these conversations and sharing my information with them, with compassion and a bit of sadness in their voices we heard them bluntly describe my condition while I was in the hospital as “knocking on death’s door” and “you were closer than you realize” and “you should have been life-flighted” and “it very easily could have gone the other way” among others…. As hard as it was to hear these things, I was so very thankful for honest answers. 

In combination with the realization of how bad it actually was, the memory struck me again and again that while in the hospital, the function of my legs fluctuated and there were times where I could not move my legs at all.….yet I WALKED out of the hospital only few days later. With all this knowledge and more, survivor guilt hit me hard and then came the deep need to know why I was kept alive. But in doing that, I stepped into my flesh. It wasn’t that I was intentionally questioning God or being ungrateful but instead I was trying to wrap my head around the logistics of it all. Give me a reason! Please!….I felt as if that reason has been left unanswered but if you ask the Lord to bring you revelation and trust He will do so, it WILL happen in His time. 

In the book of Luke, I was recently reading the story where a man brought his young son to Jesus to drive out a demon that was causing his son convulsions. In chapter 9:42 it says, “Even while the boy was coming, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the impure spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father. Verse 43 stopped me in my tracks: “AND THEY WERE ALL AMAZED AT THE GREATNESS OF GOD.” (My emphasis added) 

I finally understood. It was never about me. Praise God! It was never about me. I guess I always knew this but didn’t really acknowledge it. Even though I have read this story many times prior, it finally sunk in….miracles have NOTHING to do with us. The miracle I lived through was not about me, other than having the honor of my life being used to glorify the Savior. 

There was a point in the ER that the doctor literally walked into my room crossed his arms, and said, “I’m just going to watch you for another 30 minutes and see what happens.” The doctors did not save me, friends. God ultimately used them, this is true….but I was septic for over 36 hours before getting treated and towards the end of those 36 hours, doctors were watching me to see what would happen (because they didn’t actually know.) I was in stage 3 of 3 when I went into the ER that day. It was by the miracle of God that I lived while my fellow humans were trying to get their act together in the midst of scrambling because of a mistake they had made prior to my hospitalization. 

If you do not believe that healing and miracles still happen, I am here to tell you that they do. We must stop trying to explain them away. We must stop trying to give other things of this world credit for what God does in our lives. We must stop glorifying doctors and medicine instead of glorifying the ultimate Physician who is always in control. We must stop trying to water down the word of God. We do not need to make sense of what God does in our lives. We don’t need more answers. What this world needs more of is unquestionable FAITH. Unshakable TRUST. Unending HOPE. This world needs more people who will share the way the Lord has worked in their life, speaking testimonies that glorify the Father. Letting those testimonies sit there….in front of all to see. So ALL will be amazed at the greatness of God. 

In yet another book of the Bible, speaking to a man who He just healed, Jesus said in Mark 5:18-20, “… ‘Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.’ So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. 

AND ALL THE PEOPLE WERE AMAZED.” 

(Emphasis added)