3. REST

Written February 22, 202 REPOST

”Rest.” Why is this word so easy to speak to other people, yet so hard to apply to one’s own life. I have come to welcome rest….kinda. For years, God has worked on me to let go of many things and rest in HIS plan for my life-trusting the steps I may not be able to see that He is asking me to take. Rest in knowing He walks with me for each. And sometimes Rest as I let go of certain things He tells me to let go of even though I so desperately want to hold on. He has taken me through this concept over and over again and each and every time, I think “Man, I can’t rest any more than this!” But each time, He proves me wrong. 

2019 was quite a year for us. In March we followed God’s call to leave a church we had grown up in as Christians over the past five years. It was quite a transition for us as we became the “new family” at a local church and on top of that, I was close to 7 months pregnant with our fifth child. In my mind though, I was on a spiritual high, ready to take on whatever ministry challenge we felt that God was leading us into but the is word “Rest” kept coming up. 

DOT. 

For any parents out there who knows what it takes to get your over exhausted toddler to stop long enough to lay down knowing good and well if they did, they would pass out from their own sleep deprivation-well, that was me. I so badly wanted to keep going but the truth was, I was so tired-physically, emotionally and mentally. I’m not proud to say, I went kicking and screaming but I cannot deny that I too, recognized a call to rest that hit a little deeper than just stepping back from the activities I was a part of. 

Because of this, I found myself considering the idea of getting an epidural. Now PLEASE, hear me clearly- whether a woman has a C-section, an epidural or natural birth, her body is working non stop and has worked non stop for the nine months prior-there is absolutely no denying that. But, I was coming from 2 completely natural hospital deliveries and 2 completely natural (and planned) home births. So the definition for my body to rest not only took the form of slowing down physically and mentally leading up to baby but it was also to get an epidural in hopes of an “easier” labor than what I experienced in the past. Thousands of what ifs played through my head. Truth be told, I was more scared of the epidural then I was the pain of labor and delivery. 

As labor began and quickly progressed the evening of June 4th, I knew I had already decided; at 7 cm, I requested my first ever epidural. Every single thing that I knew about labor and delivery suddenly disappeared and I was walking, in what felt like, a whole new world unknown to me. Thinking about it, I still sometimes shake my head wondering why I decided to go against everything I’ve ever done in the past, but... I had come to a place of fully trusting God and I truly believed He was in control: epidural or no. And nothing else mattered.

I was pleasantly surprised by the pain free labor. They broke my water (again, something that I did not let them do for three of my children) and once they did, Dr. B left the room saying she would be back shortly. Over an hour went by before she finally made her way back into our room and our tie-breaker was born: our third boy squeaking his way into the early Wednesday morning of June 5th to make Adam’s birthday guess right. 6lbs 9oz. He. Was. Perfect. Our baby Luke…

Despite my hesitations and what ifs, labor and delivery seemed to go smoothly. But shortly after getting to my own room, the cramping in my stomach started. I was breastfeeding Luke as I did with each of my other children and with each one the cramping gradually increased, which I was told was normal. After letting the delivery doctor know (Dr. B), she recommended that I begin to take 800mg of Ibuprofen every 6 hours as often as I needed it. I was hesitant-yet another thing I don’t often do unless absolutely necessary, but, the thought crossed through my mind that I needed as much sleep I could get and feel the best I could when I took our newborn home to 4 excited new siblings who were all on a summer vacation sugar rush. So I began taking the ibuprofen and continued to each time they brought it to me.